Wrestling with our Values
- Jared Broussard
- Aug 5
- 9 min read
Teaching Kayfabe At ACBS World Con 2025
Below is an extended conversation on an Ignite talk I gave recently at the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science World Conference. If you are not familiar, an Ignite talk is one where you have only 20 slides, and each one transitions automatically every fifteen seconds. For those of you who are quick with math, you would have quickly come to the conclusion that this would come to three hundred seconds, or more commonly known as five minutes. I squeezed in as much as I could, but my love for both Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), as well as Professional Wrestling, demanded that I add a bit more, even if only a few people read it. So here is the beautiful and in my opinion powerful magic that happens when you combine the Kayfabe philosophy from Professional Wrestling with your personal values system as it is conceptualized in the ACT framework. So strap on your luchador mask, grab your championship title, and let's go defend our values in life's wrestling ring (also called a squared circle, apparently that is not common knowledge? I did not know that until I was practicing my presentation with my wife and daughter)
Whatever your thoughts are about professional wrestling, I promise the truth is a far more drama filled universe, complete with dashing heroes, conniving villains, and legions of devoted followers that grow in numbers with each passing day. And all of that happens before the cameras and the television sets (or more realistically in 2025, smartphones/streaming devices) ever get turned on to watch the show.
Wrestle Our Values:
From the dirty bingo halls to bright stadiums across the blog (even in your home state or country, I promise you. And not just the major companies like WWE or AEW, there are local independent promotions in every backyard to cater to every entertainment preference you can think of. They have more varieties of wrestling than Baskin Robbins has flavors of ice cream. I know there is probably some part of you that is struggling to believe me about this, but I am going to ask you to just take it on faith that I am telling you the truth, based on my almost two decades of loving, consuming, and being captivated by professional wrestling, much to my wife's dismay unfortunately.
It's Legit, I Promise:
Unfortunately, it may be the case that only some of you reading this have been lucky enough to have gotten to watch professional wrestling. Which if I am honest with you, brings me to tears, because you are all missing out on one of the best combinations of comic books, high performance stunts, live theater, and male soap opera. And I know that you will have a hard time believing me, but I promise you from the absolute depths of my soul if you can have a little bit of faith and step into life's squared circle, you can find yourself just that much closer to your personal values & fulfillment.
What Is Kayfabe:
In the mythological universe of professional wrestling, one of the core philosophies they follow with varying levels of strictness depending on the wrestling era you find yourself in is Kayfabe (pronounced Kay (Like the "K") - Fabe (Like "Babe")). Kayfabe is the wrestling term for the fictional world that exists both on and off of the screen. It is not only the wrestling show, it is so much more than that. For the professional wrestlers that are truly dedicated to their craft, as well as to delivering a deep and well thought out narrative to the audience that captivates them is a committed performance of the hero's journey.
Why's It Important:
Professional Wrestling's Kayfabe establishes a paradox, both for the wrestlers and the audience. It is an Alternate Identity for communicating a Truth. It helps to create beautiful eye catching narratives that the audiences can connect with, and if you are willing you can do the same for your authentic self.
Your Gimmick Is Your Values At Full Power:
In professional wrestling, the wrestler's (and refs, announcers, & the other people on screen) gimmicks are their characters they portray within the wrestling universe they exist within. For your life you can also do the same, by infusing your personal values into your own "gimmick", and then TURN IT ALL THE WAY UP TO 11! That way you can show the world exactly what You stand for in your life.
We All Perform Anyway:
Let's be honest, we are all playing characters already anyways. Where the problem lies with this approach is that when our characters & identities are not chosen consciously, they're chosen instead by our automatic survival instincts. What if instead of letting these survival instincts make these decisions for us, we made a conscious, values-informed decision to perform with intention? What if we chose to create & establish a fully fleshed out character for ourselves, one that truly represented who we most wanted to be in life, & then made a deliberate & conscious choice to vibrantly express that character as best we can each day?
Life's Heels & Faces:
In Pro Wrestling, babyfaces are the good guys, and heels are the bad guys. This is similar to our experiences in real life, where there are also good guys & bad guys we have to contend with on a regular basis. In order to make these situations more manageable, we have to know where we stand, what we are fighting for in our life, so we can have an increased level of awareness about our path in life, & where you need to go next in your personal journey. Just watch out for whatever personal heels exist in your personal narrative, and overcome them in your battles, real or metaphorical.
Kayfabe = Psychological Flexibility:
One of the key goals for Acceptance & Commitment Therapy is to increase an individual's overall psychological flexibility, allowing them to relate to their thoughts in a less rigid and uncomfortable way. This also allows the individuals to move meaningfully towards their personal values that most represent a fulfilling life for themselves. Those personal values ask "What do you most want to stand for in your life?". Pro Wrestling's Kayfabe mindset encourages you to "Go be it. Be flexible and live the damn gimmick. Embrace your character and live it to the fullest."
Promos As Total Truth:
Wrestlers use their promos to speak their character's (and sometimes themselves depending on how much they're blurring the lines of Kayfabe) Truth and help push the narrative forward for the audience.
In your own life, you can do the same thing. You can grab the proverbial/metaphorical microphone that exists in your life (either at home, work, school, or anywhere else you want to speak your Truth). Once you reach out and grab that microphone for yourself, and let the whole world know that you stand on business and this is what you strive to represent in your life each day!
Kayfabe Isn't Fake:
Despite it's use to establish the universe that Professional Wrestling takes place in, Kayfabe is anything other than fake. It is the storytelling device that is used to frame the story, and show the character's "Self" in a way that evokes Truth & Commitment, which helps create the most gripping stories for the audience, and keeps them coming back for more. You can do this same type of framing in your life each day as you work hard to embrace your own personal gimmick. It might feel unnatural at first, but over time it will get more familiar with each moment, until it starts being a depiction of your most authentic self.
Work The Crowd:
Pro Wrestling might take place within a more isolated environment, but for yourself the entire world (or even the whole universe if you're fancy like that), can be your arena. Feel free to use the reaction of the "crowd" around you as motivational power, but always make sure that you are keeping mindful to stay focused on the process, not the outcome. You can make the choices for how best to express your values with your actions & behaviors, but you are not responsible for the outcomes & crowd reactions you receive along the way. Live your gimmick to the best of your potential.
Lean Into The Bit:
Along the way, you are inevitably going to experience moments of unease, awkwardness, self-doubt, etc. When these moments occur, the answer for how to proceed is to embrace your gimmick, and make efforts to exaggerate your values absurdly to help power through these moments of doubt. Strive to be kind like a saint. Dazzle people when you are brave like Superman. Do everything that you can to embrace your values and COMMIT TO THE BIT, BROTHER.
Know Your Allies:
The world is dangerous to try and go it alone. Frequently in the world of professional wrestling, wrestlers will be part of a team, or even a larger group (aka "factions"). Find your own team, be it from your significant other, family, friends, community/social groups, whatever helps build out your roster of supporting team members. These people will be the individuals who are in your corner, providing support and guidance as you make meaningful effort to move forward on the path in your life towards your values and an increased level of fulfillment.
Face Your Inner Heels:
Life is full of inner heels (bad guys) & demons that pop up in our life - fear, anxiety, doubt, nervousness, etc. Professional wrestling is no different, and some of the best heels in wrestling help with driving forward the most engaging and gripping stories. What would it be like for yourself to drop your pretenses, throw down the metaphorical gauntlet and step into face your own heels in life's squared circle?
Sell The Struggle:
Wrestlers use "selling" to help make the action, drama, and storylines look as real/authentic as possible. "Sell" the process of committing to your personal values and showing the cost associated with the work. By acknowledging, instead of ignoring this cost/discomfort you experience along the way, it can help deepen your connection to both your personal values and the people surrounding you.
Gimmicks Evolve:
Few, if any professional wrestlers are able to maintain the same exact character/gimmick for the duration of their character, especially not if they hope to keep progressing in their career in a meaningful way that matters to them professionally. Even legends of the Squared Circle like the Rock (you might know him by his government name, Dwayne Johnson) had to grow, change, and evolve his character to continue helping him to remain popular and successful in his wrestling career. He did not start out as "The Great One", much less his more current iteration of his character, "The Final Boss". We all probably haven't reached the final stages of our own character/gimmick, but we can keep the growth process in mind and remain compassionate to ourself when we encounter obstacles in our path.
Breaking Kayfabe:
Life can be hard sometimes (shocking revelation I know). At times our story might require us to "break kayfabe" and acknowledge our reasons for needing to do so with compassion and kindness. This happens in wrestling as well from time to time. The gentleman in the picture to the right (The American Nightmare Cody Rhodes, of course) had to find a way to make his real-life injury (a torn pectoral muscle shown through the bruising) fuel & part of the story, instead of letting it take him out of the equation entirely.
Live Like You Are Over:
Putting it plainly, being "over" means the crowd is behind/buying into the actions and behaviors professional wrestlers exhibit, regardless if they are a babyface good guy or a bad guy heel. The true greats in professional wrestling can learn to grasp the audience in the palm of their hand, and use being "over" as a way to show their excellence. In your own life you can do the same. With your own audience (both on a micro and macro level), you can make the conscious and deliberate choice to live your life as if your values are over with your audience - AND THEN ACT WITH CONVICTION ACCORDGINLY.
For Meaning, Not Applause:
The Kayfabe philosophy in our own lives asks us to divert our attention to doing the work (aka the process), not trying to exert effort towards controlling the reactions of those around us (aka the outcomes). When we can do this, we set the stage for a places where we can live out our values authentically through that Kayfabe lens, instead of getting too fused what the rumblings of the crowd (positive or negative).
Authentic Identity:
The Kayfabe mindset is not about faking who you are or trying to be someone you aren't authentically. It is about standing on business, and living in accordance with your personal values on purpose and with committed action. Turn them all up to 11, and let the world know exactly who you are, what you stand for, and what they can expect from your character/gimmick.
I'll leave you with this last parting note. When you are fleshing out and identifying your own personal character/gimmick (assuming you are brave enough to adopt the Kayfabe mindset), take some time and ask yourself the following questions:
What is your personal character/gimmick?
How does this gimmick represent your personal values in a meaningful & heartfelt way?
What are you the champion of in your own life (both professional and/or personal)?
And most importantly...
Are you ready to defend your title in life's squared circle?
If you are located within the state of Texas and are interested in exploring if individual therapy is a good option for you, and you think yours truly might be a good fit for your needs, please feel free to reach out to me about setting up an initial 10-20 minute intake call at no cost to see if we can make something happen! You can reach me at my website, or by email!
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